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Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus |
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Book By: John Gray Ph.D.
The space between us
There's good reason why Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus has become a cult publication, and has had its title pass into common usage.
You'd have to be from a different planet to not know its basic, whimsical premise. It goes: Men used to live on Mars and women on Venus. They met and fell in love and began to have satisfying relationships. Then they moved to Earth and forgot their divergent origins. As a result, the differences between them started to create rifts.
It's a comforting metaphor to grasp. As with most of the images in the book, it serves as a vivid mnemonic for a more complex concept.
Entertaining differences
The first few chapters dealing with the differences between men and women are perhaps the most fun. The second chapter is based around what Dr Gray says are "the two biggest mistakes we make in relating to the opposite sex." According to Dr Gray, "Men mistakenly offer solutions and invalidate feeling while women offer unsolicited advice and direction."
Subsequent chapters deal with the differences in approach to factors such stress and motivation. But it is the section on differences in language that's probably the most entertaining. The book even provides a Martian/Venusian phrase dictionary to translate common phrases that men and women use to mean completely different things.
Some of the tensions in our relationships are so frequent that we assume them to be a function of our particular personalities. This book offers the valuable insight that these differences are actually prevalent, and this makes it easier to accept and understand the other person.
Colorful images
The constant use of big, colorful illustrations for daily situations proves invaluable. For example, the books points out that when men are stressed or upset, they often withdraw. They don't directly communicate their need for solitude and so women are cautioned: "Never go into a man's cave or you will be burned by the dragon!"
And this is the beauty of the book. What seems a trite image in the reading becomes one that's easily recalled in the heat of the moment. Many other books provide more detailed solutions, but their dryness makes them of little value because their advice is seldom there when you need it.
Also, the author illustrates many situations with dialogue. When you read these common utterances, it is amazing how much of the book rings true for your particular relationship.
Not for everybody
The book's cult status is a turn-off for many. This is sad because many late readers have wished they had opened up to the book earlier. But still, be warned that this book is not for everybody. Some people may find that the lines drawn between men and women are too rigid. People who don't conform to the generally accepted behaviors of their sex may find that a lot of the book doesn't apply to them or their relationships.
But for most of us cult status or no, it's not too late to buy the book and improve our interplanetary relations.
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Copryright © 2007 eRomance.com
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