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Relationship Rescue |
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Book By: Phillip C. McGraw Ph.D.
Some lessons in hard love
Anybody who has watched Dr Phil on TV will know exactly what they are getting with this book. Prepare for hard-hitting advice that guns for your problems, and forces you to see yourself and your troubles for exactly what they are. But be warned, because in the words of Dr Phil, "I want you to know that this book is not going to make things easy for you."
If a book makes repairing an ailing relationship sound easy, it's probably not giving you the whole story. Dr Phil realizes that what he says may not be what you want to hear, but if it was easy, you wouldn't be reading books about it. His solutions are in-depth and far-reaching but require great honesty and commitment from you and your partner. When you consider what's at stake, he is asking for precious little.
Lessons on the outside
A reader's education begins even before he or she opens the book. Right there on the back cover are the 10 myths of relationships that are exploded inside. Consider Myth #1: "A great relationship depends on a great meeting of the minds." Or Myth #5: "A great relationship is a peaceful one."
Or what about Myth #10: "Your relationship can only become great when you get your partner straightened out." Anybody who knows Dr Phil's approach will know the counter to that one. He doesn't mince his words: "The truth is that your relationship is in trouble because you set it up that way."
Dr Phil never allows people to be victims; he pushes readers to take responsibility for their situations and actively work to correct them. A bad relationship is not the result of one bad choice or one unlucky event; it is the result of a bad lifestyle. To improve our relationships, we have to make changes from the bottom up.
The clarion call
Dr Phil's persuasive manner makes it easy to make these lifestyle choices. At no point does the book let you get lazy. "This book is designed as a clarion call -- an unapologetic command that you strip away all your defenses and fears, that you break through the clutter of your past, that you raise your standards of personal excellence..."
As with most healing processes, the first steps are for couples to get in touch with themselves. At the very beginning of the book, readers are encouraged to "reconnect with their core." This is a thorough and rigorous section, in which readers have to take several tests and questionnaires and must be brutally honest with themselves.
But Dr Phil isn't all hard ball. As he points out, we go to school to learn how to read and write, but nobody ever teaches us about relationships. Choosing a life partner, fixing troubles in a long-term relationship -- these are delicate tasks that we are expected to simply know how to perform.
The truth is that many of us could do with a few lessons, and there are few teachers more inspiring than Dr Phil.
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Copryright © 2007 eRomance.com
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