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Knowing When It is Over |
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"Acknowledge the signs that the end is near."
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It is interesting how, towards the end of a relationship, the warning flags are like neon signs glaring in your face, and yet your rose colored glasses make it nearly impossible to acknowledge the signs that the end is near. What seems apparent to one partner may not, in fact, be the same for the other. It is vital to note and respond to tell tale signs that let you know the relationship is over.
Distance
The first and most obvious signal is when the emotional and physical distance between a couple increases. Do you feel like you are on your own most of the time these days? Are you feeling emotionally disconnected to each other? Are you or your partner maintaining a physical distance by staying late at work or are out with friends most of the time? When a couple doesn't feel the love in the relationship, they usually try to avoid discussing it and keep their distance. The phone calls that were once frequent are now reduced and usually one partner ends up doing all the calling.
Sex and Romance
The fire in the relationship seems to have fizzled out and sex seems to be more infrequent. When you do manage to find time to indulge in sex, it is quick and fairly passionless. Kissing, hugging, and touching seem to be dwindling and awkward, and public displays of affection are avoided like the plague.
Lying
Is your partner lying to you frequently about where he or she is? Then know that it is not just your imagination that is silently screaming that the end is near. Don't make excuses for your mate or try to think of ways that the lies are just miscommunication or misunderstandings. And do not ever think that he or she is lying constantly because they are planning a surprise for you. Those phone calls that you pick up to only find silence on the other side doesn't mean that you need to call the phone company. Regular weekend trips out of the city "on business" without an address and number where you can contact him is a big red flag indicating that you may no longer be the only one in his love life. Wake up and smell the coffee, take those colored glasses off, and see the world for what it is.
Constant Bickering
Are you constantly bickering about the smallest and most mundane issues? Is everything that your partner does a source of irritation and vice versa? And most importantly, has the make-up sex disappeared, leaving you feeling conflicted most of the time? If yes, then it is time to accept that the end is here.
The Friends Are Avoiding You
Your partner's friends are avoiding you and when you run into them there is an uncomfortable silence. When either of the couple realizes that the relationship is over, they usually discuss it with friends. Therefore, the way his or her friends behave with you is yet another piece of the "end of the relationship" puzzle.
When a relationship doesn't work out, it is important to acknowledge its sad but definite demise. The longer you prolong the process of ending it, the worse it will get. Acknowledge the signs that tell you it is time to part ways, and then end the relationship in a manner that gives you closure. Take responsibility for what happened and move on with pleasant memories; in time, you may turn back and look at it as a learning experience.
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Copryright © 2007 eRomance.com
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Comments (4) |
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Posted by:
lakisa
(10/11/07)
this is the real truth
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Posted by:
Kerrie
(11/22/07)
I think that this article is very true. Everything that this article states is what I have been going through with my boyfriend and I know that we are at the end of our relationship.
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Posted by:
lawal kolawole
(01/16/08)
in facts it superb,i never read an interesting facts like dis before,in facts thats what really happen to my friend relationship,and i will advice him to start reading your column and i will post a copy of it to him.
God bless u and more grease to your e
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Posted by:
Karon
(01/19/08)
I agree with this article. I know and feel that the relationship I am in has hit rock bottom.
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