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Why Are So Many People Getting Divorced? |
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"A look at the most common reasons for divorce reveals a few lessons."
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When a couple meets, falls in love and plans their "happily ever after" wedding, they never imagine that their relationship will end in a divorce. Nowadays, one in two marriages ends in divorce and has most people wondering if wedding vows hold any meaning in the world today. Instead of the conventional "till death do us apart," it seems to be divorce that does most couples apart. What are the reasons that have made people so intolerant that they are at the divorce court fighting over small details such as leaving the toilet seat up or sharing household responsibilities? Where does all the love and understanding go when the couple is constantly bickering and not ready to make allowances for each other?
Do men want a wife who is intelligent and a true professional at work, a "hottie" in bed, and a perfect homemaker who caters to all his needs before he vocally expresses them? Do women wish to be treated as equals and yet shy away from responsibilities that they consider a man's job; do they expect to be romanced and do no sharing of the romancing themselves? Is it the media that portrays a certain type of couple that behaves in a particular manner as successful, a primary reason that couples have expectations that cannot be practically met?
Top Reasons why people get divorced
- The lack of understanding and acceptance of a partner because of the scarce time spent together.
- Expectations of the relationship are very high and yet the individuals are not willing to put proportionate effort and time into the relationship.
- Bad communication skills lead to misunderstandings over trivial issues.
- Infidelity, when a partner feels that his or her needs are not being met in the relationship. Often, in this case, looks and sexual compatibility are of prime importance.
- The desire to take the easy way out and call it quits overwhelms the tendency to fight for and work on the relationship.
The social and cultural changes that have taken place over the last 2-3 generations have created a wide rift in the manner in which a couple relates to each other today as compared to a couple of decades back. In earlier years, most people lived in a rural scenario where they had more time for work and family. In contrast, industrialization and urbanization have quickened the pace of life and relationships as well. Back then, choosing a husband or wife was based on how good a partner and parent one would be, today it has more to do with how one looks, sexual compatibility, and other factors, which are sure to change with time, thus, dooming the relationship from the start. About 4-5 decades back, families ate all meals together and thus had a chance to interact more.
Two or three generations ago, roles in a relationship were clear: the man brought home the bread while the woman took care of the family. With changes in society, men and women have become competent professionals; this caused the role-playing line to blur in the relationship. Since there is no longer any dependence, they can do without each other. Knowing this makes it easier to break off a relationship over the smallest issue when either or both partners are not satisfied. Money has also become a primary issue in a marriage. A pre-nuptial agreement is as good as saying that you have no faith in the sanctity of marriage or in your partner. Divorce need not be the ultimate end for a marriage if the partners learn to prioritize the needs of the relationship and provide it the time, attention and affection it deserves.
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Copryright © 2007 eRomance.com
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