You met this remarkable guy online and both of you seem to get along fabulously. A few emails and phone calls later you are dying to meet each other. When you finally see him, your heart skips a beat. Not because of the excitement, but because you realize he is much older than his profile (and that handsome online photo) says! What if he turns out to be much younger than he implied? In either case, you could be left wondering and feeling let down and lied to. How do you handle such situations?

Has he lied about his age?
Looks can be deceptive! Do not jump to conclusions. In this age of cosmetic surgery, it is a tough task to judge one’s age by his looks. On the other hand, some people may just look older than their age. It may be in his genes or may have something to do with his work, stress, smoking, or his recent tan.

Of course, you were looking for someone in your own age group. But now that you know you gel so well (almost) you really would not mind if he is a bit older or younger. However, you want it straight from the horse’s mouth! Obviously, you do not want to initiate a relationship with a nagging doubt.

Be wary of someone who appears much younger though – you can definitely tell if someone is underage and you do not want yourself involved in that sort of a mess. If it is clear that this person is much too young to be responding to other singles online, ask him directly about his age, check his driver’s license if he allows it, and then tell his parent. And get out – wash your hands of the situation and let the family work things out.

How to get him spill the beans
Be subtle. Do not bring up the issue at that very moment. Try saying it in a diplomatic way, to get him disclose his age. “You seem to be really mature and wise for your age!”

Drop a hint to reveal you actually prefer older men. He may even dash for his driver’s license to prove he lied about his age! If that does not seem to work, switch over to a time-tested approach. Talk about your high school or your college days. Casually ask him which year he graduated or what grade was he in that particular year when his all time favorite movie was released. He may be caught unaware and spill the beans!

How to react
A couple years shaved off his real age should not really be a cause for concern (as long as he doesn’t look like he belongs to the previous generation!) It is tempting for online daters to lie about their age to attract more responses. Most people intend to confess once they reach a comfort level with each other. It may have been a harmless act just to get that initial attention from you! Let him know that it bothers you and you wish he had been frank about it. You do not have a problem with dating someone older, but you are not comfortable in a relationship with someone who lies to you in the first place.

If you realize that it is a serious fib (i.e if he has been calling himself thirty-five for the past 20 years) it is time to call it quits. If someone can deceive you once, he can do so forever!

Watch out for cyber cheaters!
To avoid such unpleasant encounters, get more online-dating savvy. Do not judge a person solely by his online photograph. He may have posted a vintage picture of himself claiming it to be the most recent one. Get to know him more through emails and the phone. Exchange a few more pictures of each other to get a fair idea about his age and looks. Watch out for inconsistencies in what he tells you. If he has been working for 20 years in his present company, he cannot be in his “early thirties” as he claims. Be sure to have everything cleared up before you meet him in person. If you have any doubts, spare yourself the heartache and ask directly over email. It is easier to get an answer that way and the air will be clear when you see each other for the first time.

Adopt innovative dating practices to screen out potentially tricky dates. Be clear about your own age and other details and expect the same from others. It will ensure comfortable and safe dating!