Be a More Efficient Online Dater
" Do not always go by your rulebook. There is no universal formula to pick up an ideal mate. "Online dating throws open a world of eligible choices for dating, and helps you discover people with similar interests. Cyberspace is the hot and happenin’ place to meet the love of your life, especially in times when career pressure allows less time for work-place romance. However, online dating can be equally frustrating when you realize you have wasted precious hours clicking on all the wrong profiles! Learn the art of online dating to make the most of it!
Get “search” savvy!
Are you overwhelmed with the number of profiles popping up online? Are you plagued by all the wrong responses in your inbox? You need to devise improved search strategies!
To begin with, “define” your date. What do you fantasize about your dream date? Marriages are made in heaven, but be sure your feet are firmly planted on ground when you decide what you desire in your prospective mate! Is it an absolute must that he be taller than you? Then search for “men taller than 5’8” to narrow down your search. Are you looking for a person in the medical profession just like yourself, to be able to share the excitement, concerns, agony, (and dirty jokes!)? Be specific about your choice and preferences for religion, age, sex, interests or diet, so that you are not besieged with profiles.
It is easier to hit the bull’s eye if you can narrow down your criteria.
When you go onto dating sites, be sure of your intention and stick to it. Are you looking for a soul mate? Do you crave romance? Many people exchange emails and gather a great bunch of friends online. It may be a bit late before they realize their primary aim in exploring that site. Be selfish. Do not encourage emails just because you feel sympathy for her, or because he seems to be a nice person. Stick to the ones you would wish to be in a relationship with.
Go after your instincts
He may not be your perfect dream date but if your sixth sense beeps “he is the one!” go for him. Do not always go by your rulebook. There is no universal formula to pick up an ideal mate.
It’s no sin to look at the pics
If you sense an instant magnetism when you see her photograph, proceed. It is only human to be attracted to beauty, but make sure it is not just physical attraction or lust you feel. Physical appeal is a vital ingredient of a relationship. In fact, scanning photos is a smart way to start your search. If you dislike him at the first sight, it is unlikely that he will bowl you over when you meet.
Forget online courtesy
When you are inundated with inquiries, you need not reply to every Tom, Dick and Harry (unless it is a Tom Cruise look a like) It is perfectly acceptable to ignore the mails of people you are not interested in. No one wants to know that you rejected him, however polite you are. In fact, not replying is the best way to convey it. (That way, even if you change your mind later about him, you still stand a chance)
Getting in touch
When you like a particular profile, respond ASAP. Don’t take ages to compile an ornate response. Start with a short and simple email. Be yourself. Everyone loves some appreciation, so begin with a compliment to catch her attention. Do not weave yarns about yourself and your history. Just reveal enough details about yourself to foster her interest in you. Discuss your common interests. Avoid asking too many questions; it will put him off. Do not send a formal reply that you have saved on your computer to everyone. Add a personalized touch to it to show you are interested.
If you have exchanged enough emails to arouse interest in each other, it is time to move ahead (lest you plan to continue having a platonic epistolary relationship forever). Pick up the phone and talk to each other. Plan a meeting. That way you may be sure whether he is serious about you. Who knows, you may discover enough about each other to fall in love.
Safe online dating
Remember you are dating a virtual stranger in cyberspace, so play it safe. Use a non-identifying email address while dating online. Do not reveal too much personal information until you establish trust. Keep your home address, place of work and personal telephone number confidential. Arrange a meeting only after you reach a particular comfort level. Be sure your first meeting is in a public place where you feel safe. Let the warning bells ring if he avoids speaking about his work or family or if you stumble upon inconsistencies.
A guarded approach will help you keep an eye on problematic dates and nip the relationship in the bud.
Happy online dating!