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Blog My Ex. Has a new Girl. (5 posts)
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KOURINOTAKU SAYS:
My little brother called me today and informed me that my ex-boyfriend has a new girlfriend I know I left him and this really shouldn't bother me but it does. How do you get over him moving on faster that you, it almost makes me feel disfunctional, broken like if I was moving forward wouldn't I have met someone by now too.
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ASTRANGEDUCK SAYS:
In budhist philosophy there are two kinds of love: attached and unconditional. You are feeling the affects of attached love. Despite the fact that you removed him from your life he still filled something in your own sense of self. My suggestion would be if you truly still cared for him and wanted him to be happy, that you would be happy for him. That is a tuff thing to do. Besides you do not know if he is in emotional suffering or not. If you really want to find someone you need to do several things. First and fore most get your act together by taking stock in who you are and what makes you a great catch. Critical self-judgements are not very loving and will only make you more "broken" which you are not. Just keep faith that you will find someone and get yourself ready for when you do. Change is inevidable and so is love.
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YOU FOUND ME SAYS:
what do you do when your boyfriend dumps you.......wait for it......for your best friend of 12 years. Yes people 12 years...and now she won't talk to me....I was really mad when this happened.....even more mad when i found out that both of then had been lying to me for a week. As mad as I am at her, I don't want her to get hurt, and she will. Someone give me some advice.
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ASTRANGEDUCK SAYS:
Most problems and conflicts are created by a lack of understanding. This can be created when we not truthful with ourselves and others. When we are not truthful it is an attempt to a hide part of who we are and this results in lies, secrets, and half truths. What causes this is simple! We learn from an early age what aspects of our personalities will get us love. I define love as acceptance (you exist), understanding(knowledge of what makes the other or you tick), and appreciation(you are valuable as a person-ie every aspect of you). It would not suprise me if at some concious or unconcious level your friend was afraid of your reaction and by your reaction she would have good reason to be. It is my opinion that you need to forgive her. I seriously mean that. People know when your words do not follow your verbal tone, your body language, and emotions. If you go to your friend with anger she will react negatively to it and as a result she will be pushed further from you. Now is no time to outright deluge her with reasons why should not be with this man. I can only assume that since both of you have been best friends for 12 years she knows about his not so pleasant deeds. Some thing in your friend has made her attracted to this man. You could remind her of some of the things he has done but I would not try that till the relationship has been repaired. You could invite her to do some of the things you both enjoyed when time were better. Ultimatley you may need to repair your relationship with her so that you can be there when things go south in her new relationship. I hope this helps. Love and light.

-Astrangeduck
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