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Where are the nice guys? (21 posts) |
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CASPERKAT99 SAYS: |
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I don't seem to attract nice guys. All the guys I meet are total jerks. Am just wondering where are the nice guys? Don't hide from me.
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JAHDEH123 SAYS: |
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If a girl like you has problems hooking a guy then it's bad news for the rest of us.
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LILOLMIDGET SAYS: |
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I have the same problem...they start off really nice then something happens and they turn into jerks. I don't get it!!!
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SPIRITOFNE SAYS: |
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I personally think gals like you don't want the nice guys. You want the bad boys. The guys who are adventurous, naughty, and somewhat nice. other wise if you really wanted a nice guy, you wouldn't have to ask this question. There are plenty of nice guys out there, you just are not looking for them. They either are not to your looks taste or not enough money on them. This is not to insult you, but a reality check from a nice honest guy.
Thank you.
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SANDRA_COLE SAYS: |
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Spiritofne - why do you say that? Guys always seem to think girls are looking for bady boys. I can't speak for the rest of the gals out there but for me that is totally not true! I do however prefer confident strong men over a man. Perhaps this is the confusion.
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MY74SEONE SAYS: |
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the nice guy is right here i seem to be the one that gets walked on and i dont think its right my74seone
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PAPABEAR SAYS: |
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I for one am a nice guy, but like most of us get walked over because either to nice of a guy or, get thrown aside for that or wilder guy.... I have experience in getting hurt.... I guess nice guys finish last, does anyone feel the same?
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VITO519 SAYS: |
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You just have to keep looking and be your self don't change for anyone. I know how you feel I am looking for a nice woman and sometimes I feel that there is none here were I live I don't give up I just have to look somewhere else and don't let it get me down. good luck on your search!
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ESP176 SAYS: |
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I myself am nice guy and never seem to get a chance at all. I feel very lonely at times am trying this to see if I could ever get that chance.
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ASTRANGEDUCK SAYS: |
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Hello everyone. Interesting topic of conversation. It may seem like there are not enough nice men and nice women but that is not the case. I personally believe alot of this confusion stems from the fact we a living in a world where the traditional gender roles are changing for men and women. Now we need to communicate better. Back durring the fifties and time in memmorium men could do better by brining more bacon home, so to speak. Women would have other women to talk to while men were out and about "working". Since the world war two and the incorporation of women in the workforce and women's sufferage the traditional roles have changed. As men and future husbands it is no longer enough to bring home more bacon we are expected to fully participate emotionally in the maintainance of our relationships. Many experts on marriage stalk about the feminine aspects of women. Women are very prone to wanting new experiences, in part due to the huge surge of estrogen (The Female Brain, by Louann Brizedine, MD). The estrogen is what make women in part more talkative (more than three time the number of words spoken by men every day). Men on the other hand are ruled by testosterone which by nature makes men less prone to talk and more inner dialogue. It is why women tend to improve men while men try to fix women. The trick to a good relationship is being able to communicate which is harder than many of us think. So the next time a woman is talking and you are saying to yourself why wont she stop. Just remember if you learn to listen properly you can build your relationship up. For the women when he pulls away something inside of him has put the fear of god into him. Relax when he withdraws and let him have some time. In some native american cultures women were not allowed to see their husbands if their husbands went into the caves. I hope this helps you guys and gals. Each and everyone of us deserves some to share our life with in both the good times and the bad.
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CREATORBRI SAYS: |
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This forum doesn't appear to show times, so I don't know when the last poster's comment was contributed, but I've noticed that the conversation ended quite abruptly.
I see this discussion come up a lot -- "Where are all the nice guys?" "Where are all the nice girls?"
Maybe -- just maybe -- what we all *really* struggle with here is precisely what the previous poster indicates -- a Lack of Communication. To communicate effectively, we must understand what is meant by "nice" -- if we have different definitions, we'll never understand each other enough to arrive at any conclusions. Just what DO women who say the want "nice guys" really mean?
I can give you a little piece of the other side of the puzzle -- what *I* mean when I say I want a "nice girl" is a girl that cares about people beyond herself, including her dating partners. She does not let people "walk all over her" -- that's not in my definition of "nice girl" -- but she demonstrates through words and actions a genuine commitment to helping other people feel good about themselves. She is confident in a knowledge of her individual worth. She is able to love and ACCEPT love, to serve and to ACCEPT service. She expects to be served but does not demand it. She expects to be cherished, and should most definitely require it. When she feels she is being violated in any way -- i.e. if she is not being loved, served, and cherished, she is NOT afraid to communicate this to her partner -- but she does so in a respectful way, and is willing and anxious to consider her partner's point of view. Ultimately she and her partner should both understand that each has a right to expect to be treated as valued individuals by the other.
In my mind, a "nice guy" is not so different. He considers the needs of his partner above his own, but does not sacrifice himself for her selfish gain. He accepts, admires, values, appreciates and applies his partners' input, but is not afraid to stand up and make a decision when a decision is called for. Etc.
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LOVELYLATINA780 SAYS: |
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lets be honest everyone, we know where the nice guys are, but we don't Look for them. we want the hot exciting ,bad for us, guys and ladies you kow it's true. but the one factor that limits us from crossing that line into nice guy land is, looks. we "say" looks don't matter, but thats a lie. this site is a re-buliding type thing. it's okay to find the nice guys, this site is refreshing.
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MASTCAB SAYS: |
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The reason you women are having hard times with all the jerks is because you probably have set your standards too high. The nicer a guy looks the more of an asshole he usually is because there are many other women throwing themselves at him. The nicest guys with the big hearts may not be the best to look at but they make up for it with their respectful attitudes.
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JADEDRAGON13 SAYS: |
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I think guys all say they want good girls but they are just as guilty as wanting the trophy catch. if we are sweet little skinny models types we don't get looked at twice. so nice girls often finish last too.
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LOLEI SAYS: |
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i think alot of guys are intimidated by a girl if she's hot. So they just end up to settle for whatever.
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ANYNDEL SAYS: |
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Guys like us, nice guys, are few and far between. Well at least that is how it seems because we tend to be the quiet ones as well. Heck Also some of us tend to have a hard time approaching women because most women don't seem to be attracted to nice guys. We are the guys that women love to be friends with but turn down when asked for a date.
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ANYNDEL SAYS: |
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I've asked many a gal out only to get an array of rude and/or hurtful rejections. Sure I'm not a muscle bound fellow but I have a strong muscle where it counts, the brain. I'm respectful of women and only want one thing, to make her happy. I would fill her life with romance but I'm never given the chance. Why? I'm a nice guy, I should have a girlfriend by now, if women want nice guys but all they seem to be interested in are bad boys and guys, who, from what I have observed, have little or no respect for them.
So I pose this question. Where are all the girls who truly want a nice guy?
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TSTARR SAYS: |
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I'm thinkin maybe the word 'nice' is not the correct word....just my opinion. To me I find confidence sexy. (not arrogrance) Confidence goes way beyond being nice. Someone with confidence knows him/herself, knows he/she is loved by Christ and has been placed on this earth wonderfully and fearfully made just because God loves us. Confidence allows a person to stand up straight and tall and helps us to battle what ever obstacle may come our way.
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WIZARDOFLIGHT SAYS: |
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Little things matter . . . . maybe it is just a pattern you follow . . . what it is you look for . . . or what attracts you . . . follow the same pattern all the time and acheive the same results. As Einstein said, madness is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
If I happened across a profile like yours, I would pass it by anyway . . . for just the way you answered one question . .
Who Should Pay? "The Man Should Pay Most of the Time"
That is not the best answer, and if some guy sees that, he'll probably think . . . hmmm . . . she's not thinking about herself at all is she . . ? Maybe she's a gold digger. A guy just might even think after reading that . . "well, she wants hers, I'll get mine." It could even really reflect something about the answerer's character and what they are looking for . . .
It's a bad answer, and it gives you no opportunities. . . . But, if you happened to say . . .
Who Should Pay? I Go "Dutch" (both pay equally)
This actually gives you an opportunity, not only to present yourself as looking for an equal in the relationship, but also to test the character of your date. . . . for your date will have read your comment on who should pay, and it leaves your date with three possible choices. . . . However it goes, you will have learned something about his character . . .
1. He can allow you to pay you 50%.
His either testing you or he is stingy. Testing you that way, that early in the
game is probably not a good idea.
2. He can offer to pay the tab and have you cover the tip.
He's probably a generous guy, and, probably trusts that you will be kind enough
to return the favor some time.
3. He can offer to pay the whole tab and the tip.
He's trying to hard . . . probably not a good sign.
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