Making a Marriage Work
" Take efforts to keep the love and romance alive! "A happy and fulfilling marriage can be one of life's greatest gifts. Nevertheless, it is a challenge not to succumb to the stresses and strains of marital life. Here are some tips to help you survive the pressures and the monotony and to help your marriage last a lifetime!
It goes without saying that you need to focus more on the positive aspects of your union than anything else. Take pleasure in the fact that both of you can spend the entire weekend together, rather than harping on the fact that you hardly see each other during weekdays. Learn to appreciate each other's good traits. Believe you are in a happy relationship.
Something that is easier said than done! If you want to be in a successful marriage, learn to L-I-S-T-E-N! You can always put across your thoughts later. For instance, you are bubbling with energy to tell him about the exciting deal you came across at the super-store. You sense hubby dear has had a tough day at work. Let him talk, if it makes him feel better. Your "deal" can wait until he is in a better mood!
Give each other space
Being together and sharing, does not mean you have no time to do your own thing. Respect your partner's interests and set limits to protect each other's independence. Let her spend a weekend with her close friend. Allow him to go golfing or fishing once a while, all alone if he wishes. Let there always be some mystery involved in the relationship. Do not floss with the bathroom door open and definitely shut the door when you are waxing or shaving-nothing kills the romance faster.
Don't go to bed with unresolved conflict
Discuss, debate, thrash it out, but be sure you kiss and make up before you go to bed. Make up sex is a great incentive.
Watch you mouth
Many a bitter remark made in hurt or anger has damaged a relationship irrevocably. Remember, you may not mean what you say, but you cannot take back your words once the damage is done. Discuss a problem once you have overcome your anger and can think rationally. Giving a patient ear to your partner's version of what happened will avoid misunderstandings and allow you time to control your emotions.
Be each other's support system
Encourage and support each other all through the agony and ecstasy of life. Being together in the face of adversity is the true strength of a marital bond. Even when you are busy with the daunting task of bringing up kids, protect your own privacy. Share some time together. Help each other cope with mid-life crises. Nurture the dependency and rejoice that you can always bank upon each other in testing times.
Do not underestimate the wonders sex can do to enliven your marital life! That does not mean you have to be a sex maniac. Stir up the passion with a warm hug, a tender kiss, or subtle romantic interludes.
Laughter-no better medicine
Wit and humor can spice up life like nothing else! Share jokes, laugh at your own blunders, and pull each other's legs for fun! Email dirty jokes to your partner once a while! Giggle at your kids' silly jokes and let the waves of laughter erase the boredom in life.
STOP being a nag hag
Learn to devise better ways to get things done without nagging. If he forgets to pay a bill, email him a reminder. Slip a cute "things to do" list in his pocket.
Learn to balance a career and family
Decide your priorities. Learn to juggle time between your work and family. If both of you cannot give the attention your kids deserve, one of you can take a career break. Discuss your finances and decide what will work out best for your family.
Learn to end an argument
Don't go on and on and on about things that really do not matter! Even if you feel your partner is WRONG, does it in anyway affect your relationship? Is it worth making a major issue out of it? If not, let it go. Accept defeat! Change the subject. A massive ego is injurious to a relationship!
Do not leak out personal differences
Keep your differences to yourself. Do not discuss them openly. Do not argue in front of others. It exposes the vulnerability of your relationship. Even if you seriously disagree on some matter, you can always settle it later.
Seek Help if you need to
Seek professional help before it is too late to salvage a marriage going sour. If you really wish to save your marriage, do not hesitate to ask for help. You will realize it was definitely worth the effort.
While facing the stark realities of life wrought by time, take efforts to keep the love and romance alive! Good luck for a lifetime of marital bliss!