Should We Get Married?
" You need to share a vision that would bring a new meaning to your life together. "You have been in a relationship for long enough. You enjoy being together and cherish your friendship, but do you get jitters thinking about marriage? Are you in a dilemma whether it is the right time to say"I DO?"
Ask yourself the following questions and answer honestly. It is a great guide to help you evaluate the long-term prospects of your relationship and to know if it is time to enter into matrimony.
Why do we want to get married?
Obviously, because we are in "LOVE!"
You cannot be more wrong.
Love is a vital ingredient of a long-lasting relationship, but not the only one. A lifetime relationship is not built on love alone. Being in love is a great feeling, but when it comes to entering into matrimony, do not let your heart rule your head! Be realistic and think logically before you decide to take the plunge! One can't survive on love and fresh air alone.
What do we have in common?
"We both love Italian cuisine. We enjoy skiing, and both of us adore cats!" Well, it sounds too shallow to sustain a lifetime of togetherness! You both need to have a common purpose in life, something more profound and unfathomable. You need to share a vision that would bring a new meaning to your life together.
Am I frank with my partner?
Do you feel safe to confide your silly doubts or your intimate secrets to her? Do you feel talking to him will unburden you heart? Are you sure he will not look down upon you or think you are too vulnerable? The key to a successful marriage is communication. If you feel emotionally secure with your partner, you are in the right relationship.
Do I hope to change him after marriage?
You should want to enter into a lifetime relationship with a person because you like him the way he is NOW and not for how he WILL be later. If you dislike certain things about him and want to marry him hoping that he will change later, it is an unwise decision that you may regret later.
How is my partner as a person?
"He has a charming personality, is doing really well in his career and draws a handsome pay." Yes, that sounds nice, but what does he look forward to in life? Does he make efforts to grow as a person, or yearn only for material benefits? Does he stand by his principles and strive to be honest and sincere? A person who puts materialistic goals ahead of everything else may not mature as a person to understand the intricacies of life. Is he nice to other people?
How does he come across to others? Does he get along well with his colleagues? Is he in touch with his parents? Does he respect them? Does he enjoy interacting with your friends? Does he generally speak well about others; is he appreciative about the right things or do you always hear him criticize? How does he treat the taxi driver or the errand boy at his office?
If he is sensitive about other people's feelings he is a great person to be with. It is unlikely that he will knowingly hurt your feelings.
It is NOT the right time to think about marriage IF
- You are planning to marry to escape loneliness and insecurity.
- You are seriously concerned about his habits like smoking, drinking or improper diet.
- You are not comfortable discussing about handling of finances after marriage.
- You feel she is too ambitious about her career.
- She avoids talking about having kids, while you absolutely adore them.
- He avoids your family and friends.
- She seems to be critical about almost anything you do.
- He smirks at your religious beliefs.
- He lies to you often.