Is it Time for Couples Counseling?
" Getting therapy is not a sign of a relationship ending "Let us cut to the chase. Many couples instinctively know that their relationship is heading the wrong way. Making excuses is what got them there in the first place. Counseling is not always the last resort. Recognizing signs well in advance can curb relationship pit falls. It is also true that it is not easy to impartially judge a situation in which you are involved.
So look for the following signs:
Every time you have a difference of opinions, the result is a huge fracas. The real reason for the argument is lost. At the end of it, you feel emotionally drained. Such meltdowns hamper normal routine and functioning. They are not healthy and create huge stress levels that creep into all sections of life, including work.
Think back to conversations you have with your other half during leisure times. Are they always about bills or guests you will have to entertain? It is quite common to have no time to talk. Examine the things about which you do talk. Couples should see a red flag when all conversations are addressed with a simple grunt or a yes or no.
It is a bad idea to have issues that a couple does not address at all. Even a slight reference launches the concerned partner into a flying rage. It is important to deal with the suppressed rage and frustration. Having a third party view should definitely deter strong reactions. A couple, with the help of therapy, works beyond deeply rooted issues and insecurities and gets to the true nature of problems the couple is facing.
Nothing to Say
Many couples share dinner, read a book, or watch television in amicable silence. They find comfort in this silence, but what if it becomes intolerable? You find that you and your spouse have no problem carrying on conversations at length with friends and family, but faced with each other across the table, silence is inevitable.
You come in from work. The conversation veers to the day at office and all of a sudden launches into a completely different sphere. How did a normal update of your day of work turn into a shouting match about each other's inadequacies? Just a week ago, you went on a vacation thinking that lack of time was the culprit of all this stress. A week later and it is back to square one. When the normal rote formula of going on vacation has not worked, it is time to consider professional help.
The Relevance of Therapy
The chance of two individuals getting along is much tougher today because couples marry later and already have set behavioral patterns. A therapist is only a facilitator. The couple's motivation determines the result. So, stop talking to friends about problems that you are facing. A friend will always see you as a victim and unknowingly might offer sympathy that you do not require.
Getting therapy is not a sign of a relationship ending. It means that a couple accepts that there are problems and wants to address them. It is a new beginning. Sometimes couples wait too long. Nipping issues in the bud and recognizing that you will have problems is a couple's most important step towards working together in a relationship. Taking that first step shows a commitment to staying together. Even in fairy tales, "happily ever after" is achieved after initial strife and hardship.