Should We Move In Together?
" Evaluate your motive to move in together and share your concerns "The present generation is conscious about the fragility of marriage and needs time to make a commitment. Living together may seem like an easy way to taste the benefits of marriage without the risk of divorce!
However, even couples in a dedicated relationship may get the jitters to make their mind up about moving in together. Here are some tips to help you resolve your dilemma and arrive at the crucial decision.
Should we move in together?
Well, ask yourself why you feel the need to move in together. Is it because your relationship has progressed to an extent that you feel comfortable with each other and moving in is a natural transition to your ultimate goal-marriage? Is it just because you feel that is what everyone does as a social norm-or is it just a decision for economical convenience? Is it a step you want to take because your partner is shying away from commitment and you feel moving in together may make him feel you are "indispensable?"
Will moving in together help our relationship?
Living together does have its own benefits. As a cohabiting couple you can share your expenses and responsibilities and experience what it takes it be successful in matrimony. It is the best time to learn about each other, understand your likes and dislikes, yet have your own space. You are close and get to see the real person (and not only the best side you always portrayed when you dated each other!) If you have any differences, you can work together to come to an amicable solution and plan ahead. At the same time if things do not seem to work at all, you do not need legal or religious sanction to part ways.
Can it go wrong?
On the flip side, too much familiarity may breed contempt and drive couples apart! The relationship may lose the spark and excitement of yearning for each other and the pleasure of anticipating what lies ahead!
While living together is convenient in the sense that there is no legal commitment, that very factor can be detrimental to a relationship. Any minor differences may urge you or your partner to take the easy way out-move out! In a married relationship, you would try your best to achieve a solution and strive for a harmonious relationship, because of the additional moral, legal, and familial commitments.
If you feel living together will get a commitment from your guy down the road, it may not always be so (as the popular adage goes; "Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free?") You should also be aware of any possible risks of physical, emotional, and sexual abuse in a "live-in" relationship and hence be cautious before you take this step.
How can we better handle the transition of moving in together?
Moving in together entails significant changes in your lifestyles and it may be a while before you adjust. Evaluate your motive to move in together, share your needs and concerns, get to know your mutual expectations and reservations, and have a frank discussion about a future committed partnership or marriage before you decide to move in.
Set a time limit of a year or so to live in together, rather than just casually moving in. It is worth spending valuable time to plan where to live, what household items to share, and how to handle the finances. Consider how you are going to cope up with the routine changes (who gets up first, who makes the morning coffee, who gets to use the bathroom first, or who cleans up the kitten litter!) and whether you can "let go" of some things for each other's happiness.
Any relationship, be it a marriage or a live-in relationship has its share of turbulence. If you are confident enough to face the challenge head-on, it is just a transition to a smooth-sailing future.