relationships advice


Is This Relationship Going Anywhere?
" It is important to discuss your relationship periodically. "
The two of you have been together for a couple of months, maybe even a couple of years, and have reached the point where you are comfortable, and yet your relationship seems to be stuck in a rut. A relationship often heads towards serious commitment and in many cases, to marriage. Is your relationship heading somewhere or has just hit a pause? Usually people ask themselves this question in two scenarios, either when the relationship is going through a rough phase or when one or both partners are not really happy and excited in the relationship.

A Rough Patch
Each one of us has wondered if our relationship is indeed going anywhere, especially when you are going through a difficult patch. A relationship cannot continue at the emotional high at which it began, and difficulties are part of the package. Decide what it is that is making you question if the relationship is going anywhere. When your life together seems to be full of challenges, then perhaps you need to communicate your feelings with your partner and give it a fresh start.

Most of the time, we put in a lot of effort into romancing our love interest at the start of the relationship. Slowly, as we get comfortable in the security blanket that the relationship provides, we stop putting in so much time and effort. Everyone likes attention and wants to feel loved and appreciated. Without the romance in the relationship, it is understandable that it seems like the relationship is stagnating or on a downward slide. Waking up to the tell tale signs of discontent may give you enough time and chance to restart the fire. Don't just stop at taking a weekend away together, but make a genuine effort to add to each other's lives on a daily basis. It doesn't take much work or money to tell your mate that you love them. Start with leaving a love note on the refrigerator or the bathroom mirror, call him or her at work to ask how the day is going and to let them know that you cannot wait to get home to be together.

Time to Move On
Are you holding on to your partner only because it feels like a secure place to be? Too many people hold on to relationships that aren't going anywhere because they have become so comfortable in the security, and are afraid to let go and start looking for someone all over again. If this is the case, then you need to call it quits as soon as possible, for a relationship that does not provide what both partners need is bound to go sour soon. It is better to part ways now rather than delaying it until later when it could turn ugly.

It is quite possible that you still love your partner, but are not feeling the passion and emotion that you would want in a romantic relationship. You need to communicate your feelings and discuss the situation with your mate. Often people find it difficult to let go of a relationship because of the emotions and time invested in it. However, if you have drifted apart and there doesn't seem to be much that can add spice back to the relationship, then it is better to move on.

People grow as individuals and not just as a couple and at times, you may want different things from life and from the relationship. Therefore, if you are ready for a commitment but your partner is shying away from the very mention of it, then after awhile, it is natural that you want to move on. Time changes people and their priorities. Sadly, sometimes the pace for you and your partner may be different and you may both want different things. It is important that you both discuss often whether your relationship is following the path you want.

 
 
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Posted by: jade   (01/12/08)

I've known this guy for about three months and at the begining it was lovely. We used to spend a lot of time with each other. Mostly everyday. Just recently we don't see each other that much. What should I do?
Posted by: JACKIE   (06/15/08)

I'VE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH A TRUCKER FOR A MONTH AND A HALF, I REALLY DO LIKE HIM BUT WE HAVE ONLY SPEND TIME TOGETHER ONCE, I TALK TO HIM EVERYDAY BUT THIS IS VERY HARD FOR ME, HE TELLS ME THIS IS HIS JOB I UNDERSTAND THAT.
Posted by: JACKIE   (06/15/08)

BUT THE PROBLEM IS AM I THE ONLY ONE BECAUSE I CAN'T SEE IT WHERE AS IF HE CAN'T TRY AND GET A LOAD TO COME TO WHERE I AM IF IT'S NOT FOR JUST A FEW HOURS. CAN SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME OUT.
Posted by: jason   (07/15/08)

Ive been in a Relationship for 5 months he dos not even want to have sex whith me all he ever wants is for play I cant stand it anay more what should i do
Posted by: rodel   (08/01/08)

I've been in a relatioship for 6 years and it seems like my partner does not have future plans for me. I am 35 years old divorce with a kid and he is single no kids. should i stay or move on?
Posted by: ghen   (09/24/08)

i am situaion right now and i dont know when will it ends..
Posted by: Rev. Reid   (12/02/08)

I have met this tyoung lady whom I have come to regret being with. For my class or work that I do in this society here in Jamaica, I don't think we are couple for marriage. She likes to hit, curse, get loud, and be bossy. I have a small problem too.
Posted by: Kate   (01/28/09)

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 and 1/2 years and it just seems lately that our hobbies/interests have changed and what I find fun he doesn't anymore, and he feels the same way. I still love him more than anything, but there is no fun.
Posted by: marty   (03/16/09)

I have been in a relationship with a man for 10 years. He has not asked me to marry him He does not even tell me that he loves me. Now he does not act like he wants to touch me anymore. Should I move on.
Posted by: ahamed   (07/19/09)

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Posted by: Alfred   (06/15/10)

It's over
Posted by: temitope   (08/18/10)

being in a relationship, meeting/seeing each other everytime is not only that matters or to make the love stronger.....its the love and trust that matters and how you cherish moments you spend together.
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Posted by: jackie   (08/22/11)

I ve been with my boyfriend for 5 yrs now and we have been through so much now things seem to be getting better but I feel the next step now is getting engaged. Its really important to me but he seems to make joke of it all the time and when I get made an
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Posted by: Asabella Desmond   (10/17/11)

I met a guy in just three weeks now and he is asking me to come to his house so we can hav a romance that he wants the relationship to be romantic.what should i do?
Posted by: Asabella Desmond   (10/17/11)

How should i knw that a guy am dating is ready to settle down with the relationship?
Posted by: And I thought I was the sensible one. Thanks for setting me stragiht.   (11/07/11)

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Posted by: marie   (11/25/11)

i ve been with tis guy almost 5yrs we have lived together for 3yrs i always mention marriage but he never does he says we dont need a ring help please
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Posted by: Mischillene   (12/03/11)

Hi I am deaf so I been in a relationship with my boyfriend and but we haven't seen each other yet because he always want to focus on his job AND save money but not in relationship with me I feel lonely. He not thinking about me help me how to tall to hi
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Posted by: ana   (03/06/12)

I'm with a men for sic years but he still married. He always told me his going to get divorce when he have money to pay for divorce but all the time he has that money he spent it for something else. Do I have to keep the relationship or should I move on?
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